Tuesday, October 13, 2009

something lovely

i know this may sound absolutely disgusting but i love it - chewing my food and spitting it out.
i even feel FULL after because i rinse my mouth, spit it out, and then drink some water after every few bites and spits.
its a wonderful way of tricking my mind.
sometimes i catch myself thinking - i cant believe i ATE all that!
then i remember i didnt. and everything is okay.
thers nothing wrong with tasting the food - just everything wrong with swallowing it!
tomorow im going to buy a bunch of chocolate and cookies and im not going to swallow a crumb.

....

Today was pretty good!!
I had an egg and an apple for breakfast. and my plan was to just have an apple for lunch.... but my friend made me eat some of her sandwhich.
I wanted to go and throw it up but there were a bunch of girls in the bathroom....
had a plum when i got home from school.
soup is what is on the menu for tonight. i'll only have a bit.

Monday, October 12, 2009

a new lifestyle

i look in the mirror and i hate what i see.
i need to be thin. i want to be thin. i am determined to get there.
support from people around me is very limited and i hope to find some here.
i hope to find inspiration to help me reach my goals.

height: 5'0
HW: 130
CW: 128
GW: 100

i have been very thin before and managed to let myself go.
never again.